So when people say… “you remind me of my family” — conceivably – they could be setting you up as a transference target? You may become a fantasy figure only in their minds? Made in the image and likeness of member/s of their own family? You may not be a real person at all. Projection? What a daunting thought. People will shape those they hardly know into undying kind of heroic figures, to be admired and worshipped at the altar of their own fixated imaginations. Unresolved neglectful past events forever played out.
When the commission to inquire into child institutional abuse was set up, it was made abundantly clear to the staff — that those who were badly abused as children were very vulnerable and would have the propensity for strongly reacting adversely to dictatorial and authoritative behaviour by those in charge. The inquiry, after all, was set up to discover abuse in the past, and it would have been the antithesis of everything it stood for, if those who had voluntarily and bravely attended were treated disdainfully by CICA. No room for compounded abuse. Period. They were warned that anything untoward of that nature would not be tolerated. Survivors would automatically transfer abhorrent feelings they felt about their regimental past lives on to those who dared to make them feel insignificant. So many unresolved issues are always to the fore of those who were abused in the past. Information that should have been processed as children in a positive way was thus halted and the broken record replayed via negative experiences replayed over and over till kingdom come.