Odd one out

Thanks to everyone who entered Challenge89 "Odd One Out". We enjoyed browsing all the �odd� pictu...

No matter how hard I try to go out of my way to be accepted and part of the set, it just never seems to work out. The odds are stacked high against me in a variety of ways. Firstly, my body would be too small in stature. My beak, too, not intellectually long enough to grasp the vast knowledge of the sea, that stimulates those who are clearly likeminded in stature and mind. My little brain, not sharp enough to stand up to the great ones who overpower me. I’m just a small seagull that constantly gets overlooked. A round peg in a square hole. Should I just give up trying to fit in with the rest of them, or shall I go off out into the distance and let the universe guide me.

A lot of survivors of industrial *schools* will have experiences of feeling like the odd one out. It is the story of my life

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Marie-Thérèse O’Loughlin

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I took this photo of Sarah, with background directly across the road of the burial ground in Donnybrook, where her grand-aunt – who was a nun at the convent next door – is buried. It seemed appropriate. The old burial ground is understandably under lock and key, and we spent too much time talking that she didn’t get the chance to go to the grave. There is always another time. I told her that she could show it to her dad. That was a long walk from town you took to come and visit me. I appreciated it so much. Thanks, too for the very long chat we had at Kiely’s, and the soup and egg sandwiches I tucked into with relish. It’s always delightful catching up on stuff. Had it been warmer, we could have gone to Dun-Laoghaire pier. As you said another time when the weather looks up. Keep…

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Marie-Thérèse O’Loughlin

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This is an unusual photo of a very young magpie in a grooming position. There are not very many of them to be seen around. The area is their home territory, so I guess when the weather gets a little warmer, they’ll make their presence felt more. The very small birds instead are to be seen in abundance on nearby branches of leafless trees. Displaying its plumage, perhaps?

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Marie-Thérèse O’Loughlin

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I took this photo of a young blackbird from inside my balcony window. It’s not as big in reality, as I used the Leica lens to hone in on the bird. I note that a lot of the birds are swollen looking. At first, I thought that they might be pregnant, but I think that it is food stored in their bodies for the cold season. The photo didn’t turn out too badly considering it was taken from inside a window-pane. I left out nuts in a bird-look-alike plate at the edge of the balcony, and I think that was the attraction. It’s very difficult getting good shots, as no sooner when you pause for one nano-second, the birds have flown away. The yellow buds on the apple-blossom tree match the colour of the beak.

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Jane Eyre: Charlotte Brontë Audiobook [Chapters I-20]

Classic Literature VideoBook with synchronised text, interactive transcript, and closed captions in multiple languages. Audio courtesy of Librivox. Read by Elizabeth Klett.

Playlist for Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2AAEFCAF1D04E74E

Jane Eyre free audiobook at Librivox: http://librivox.org/jane-eyre-version-3-by-charlotte-bronte/

Jane Eyre free eBook at Project Gutenberg: http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/1260

Jane Eyre at Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jane_Eyre

View a list of all our videobooks: http://www.ccprose.com/booklist

Button it: Lucy

I saw “Button it” Lucy doll at Diana Evans. She is very talented. I adore her quirkiness. I thought it best to “button it” re the “clique” out of respect for someone who has been good to me. Not that I went further than posting technical stuff, anyway. ‘Button it’ Lucy knows best!! I buttoned it before for a very long time, regarding deep-rifts that occurred in an unnamed community because I was asked to. I learned since then, that it was the best advise ever given. I’ve kept well out of it, despite wanting to lash out at certain individuals and in-groups from all sides.
Silence can be golden, but it can also see the recipient of the silence being ignored. Sure. it’s probably better to be ignored for keeping mum, than being ignored for vehemently expressing disgust at other people’s obnoxious behaviour. Wait… is it really?
Oops, have just seen on the blog that one cannot copy without permission. I must do the honourable thing sofort.

Clique

cliqueLS

In the social sciences, the word “clique” is used to describe a group of 2 to 12 (averaging 5 or 6) “persons who interact with each other more regularly and intensely than others in the same setting”. Although cliques are most commonly studied during adolescence and middle childhood, they exist in all age groups.

Here is very interesting information on In-group Favouritism at Understanding Prejudice.

“Ingroup Favoritism

When most people think of racism and other forms of bias, they picture one group having negative feelings toward another group. Although this dynamic certainly takes place, research since the 1970s has found that many group biases are more a function of favoritism toward one’s own group than negative feelings toward other groups. As Marilyn Brewer (1999, p. 438) put it in her summary of the evidence,

“Ultimately, many forms of discrimination and bias may develop not because outgroups are hated, but because positive emotions such as admiration, sympathy, and trust are reserved for the ingroup.”

The tendency of people to favor their own group, known as “ingroup bias,” has been found in cultures around the world (Aberson, Healy, & Romero, 2000; Brewer, 1979, 1999).”

Read more at: In-group Favoritism – UnderstandingPrejudice.org: The Psychology of …

Related articles

In-group favoritism – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

The basic concept behind the establishment of the pecking order among, for example, chickens, is that it is necessary to determine who is the ‘top chicken,’ the ‘bottom chicken’ and where all the rest fit in between. The establishment of the dominance hierarchy is believed to reduce the incidence of intense conflicts that incur a greater expenditure of energy. The dominance level determines which individual gets preferential access to resources such as food and mates.

Pecking order – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A small group of people with shared interests or tastes, especially one that is exclusive of other people.

Favouritism = LaLa-ism

parental-favouritismWhen I witness favouritism  I’m instantaneously drawn back to my childhood incarceration days at Goldenbridge. Those who were favoured by staff were called La La’s. They were thoroughly despised by child inmates, who stuck their tongues out at them; gave them hard digs; pulled at fancy aeroplanes in their hair, or sent them to Coventry. So on one hand it was wonderful to be favoured where the staff was concerned, but the staff members weren’t all the time going to be around to watch out for them when all hell let loose. Which was very often indeed. The physical fights that ensued with some inmates towards the La La’s – whom the former didn’t have any emotional skills to tackle the situation in any other fashion, were an awful sight to behold. It was utterly pathetic. The culprits were hauled before the head honcho and beaten to a pulp. The La La’s were a cut above the rest of child inmates and staff refused to see the blind spots that other children saw. The La La’s forever tittle-tattled, they were the biggest bullies ever behind their sanctimonious veneer. They sat on high perches licking lollipops and aniseed balls, dressed in clothing belonging to child inmates – who would have been given them by the host families – but were stolen from them by the minders and staff who doted on them, over everyone else. The La La’s laughed and thrived on being the centre of attention. They not only licked and sucked on sweets given to them when nobody else was given any, they also licked and sucked up to the staff.

There are advantages to being chosen. In species of birds and animals, life can depend on being selected as mothers offer their milk to some infants, who survive, and not to others, who die.

Some children who wanted so much to be accepted would do anything to be given attention. They would offer minders sweets that were given them by children who had visitors, alas, it never worked. I know that I harboured a lot of resentment towards one particular prominent staff member for years and years because of the way she treated, not only her own special pets, but, because of the extreme power she had to shape the aesthetic / emotional mental lives of others whom she disliked intensely. This woman did a lot of psychological damage to countless children. She was so horrible that there were inmates who went to ‘outside’ school, and she made sure that those of whom she didn’t like, would not even be attempted to befriend the ones she did like. Never the Twain did meet. I remember her referring to some inmates as coming from common stock, what ever that was supposed to imply to children who were clueless about their own genealogical makeup. She even went as far as driving a wedge between a father who came up to see his children, whom it also happened that one of them was the La La that she doted on, whilst despising the sister.

The untold damage that this ghastly devious family-breaker caused to innocent children was replayed at the Ryan Commission. She had impacted on too many inmates’ psyches for them to ever forget. There were some survivors who couldn’t communicate with the LaLa’s when they initially encountered each other at survivors’ meetings. They finally came around to thinking that the LaLa’s never asked to be favoured and only acted out according to the way favoured child institutional inmates would, as they knew no different. The staff who petted them to the detriment of others were the real wrong-doers, as they set the favoured ones up to be disliked and set upon. Besides, they were probably only using the children to satisfy their own needs and not that of the LaLa’s.

The memories of being rejected by this staff member – who wielded so much power, left many scars on survivors of industrial *schools.* A woman of that objectionable nature should not have been in any way near children. People who genuinely care for the righteousness of children should not differentiate between them. I don’t care what drive they have for one against the other. Children in need should have all been treated equally. If people have preferences, they’re probably only fulfilling a need within themselves, and not that of the greater good of children, as was the case with the abominable staff member at Goldenbridge. Maybe somebody should have given her a dose of love medicine that would have induced her to naturally spread her love all around. No oxytocin needed for social bonding existed in the staff member for the likes of us.

It was the children who had families who were petted, rather than those who had no visitors. I suppose those with parents were more easily likable, more malleable than those who rigidly oozed of intense neediness, with no-one to care about them. Those who were petted obviously possessed more charm, and that probably drew them to the bosoms of the staff to be more nurtured. Nobody likes to see helpless human beings. They want them to be all nice and perky and bouncy and sweet and loving and most importantly, compliant. That way they get to make life nice for them. Smile and the whole world smiles with you, cry and you cry alone.

In all the years I spent at Goldenbridge, I don’t ever remember a time when one single human being gave me a hug. I don’t ever remember a time being told that I was a nice child. I don’t ever remember anyone ever bowing down to look at me affectionately and tell me that they cared. Not one single day, ever… so it shouldn’t really be any wonder that now, I still feel the same coldness coming from society. Nothing has really changed. The same thing about wanting to be accepted is relived over and over. I obviously projected traits that caused me to be kept at a distance from people. Even if I was to greet some people in their sorrow, they would shun and block me.

It was all so easy for the nasty staff members to favour certain children, whilst totally rejecting the others, as they were not under scrutiny from one single soul. Ironically, the LaLa’s had a lot to live up to fulfill the expectations of those who doted on them, and a lot of them suffered very badly as adults. The attention given to them was kind of warped, which looked normal in a warped setting. They faced grave difficulties adapting to the outside world.

Related Articles:

Update: Here is a good example of favouritism shown in these two video clip of Jane Eyre.

Father Flannery on Ryan Report

Media Coverage of Ryan Report Not Objective, Priest Claims

The Irish Times – September 23, 2009 by Patsy McGarry, Religious Affairs Correspondence.

 THE MEDIA has been criticised for being “clearly not objective” in coverage of the Ryan report on child abuse and of being “not at all interested” in the religious congregations’ side of the story.

The criticisms, made and reported by author, commentator and Redemptorist priest, Fr Tony Flannery, appear in his introduction to the book Responding to the Ryan Report (Columba), which he edited.

He writes that, on publication of the Ryan report: “I found myself getting more and more irritated by the majority of the media coverage . . . Too many of the regular media commentators were clearly not objective, but rather had obvious agendas of their own.”

He continues: “In order to get a very necessary perspective on what had been revealed, I felt we needed some really independent, dispassionate voices, people who were genuinely knowledgeable and could help us get our minds around a situation which is deeply complex.”

Fr Flannery noted that “the other absent voice, of course, was that of the religious, who lost their nerve and were not willing to go public”.

Some of the religious told him “they were afraid they would not be listened to and that they would be savaged by more professional and media-savvy spokespeople. Some of them believed that the media were not at all interested in hearing their side of the story and that if they had gone on air to tell it, the response would have been ‘there they go again’.”

He says that “the effect of the shortage of genuinely knowledgeable and objective comment was that as the days went on the debate narrowed, and the problem was more and more laid at the door of the church and the religious, until eventually it got to the stage where it was being demanded that the Catholic Church and religious be removed from all involvement with the care of people”.

An “underlying assumption developed that abuse was a problem almost exclusively associated with priests and religious and that if they were removed from the scene it would be solved”.

The book, he says challenges such assumptions as “that a large proportion of priests and religious are child abusers . . . that Catholic Church teaching on sexuality is a true reflection of the teaching of Christ, and is adequate for the present age . . . that the Catholic Church’s zero tolerance policy of treating all errant priests and religious in the same fashion is either fair or just”.

Contributors to the book include theologians Fr Seán Fagan, Fr Donal Dorr, Mercy nun Sr Margaret Lee, academic Dáire Keogh, communications consultant Terry Prone and law lecturer Tom O’Malley.

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/ireland/2009/0923/1224255061451.html

Bishop of Galway Stands Firm

Irish Times, last updated Sunday, December 27, 2009, 12:22 by LORNA SIGGINS, Western Correspondent

Bishop of Galway Dr Martin Drennan “does not intend to resign”, according to his diocesan communications manager Fr Seán McHugh.

The bishop has been under mounting media pressure since four of his colleagues mentioned in the Murphy report on how allegations of child sex abuse were handled in the Dublin archdiocese have tendered resignations.

However, Dr Drennan is “strong in his belief that he did nothing wrong”, Fr McHugh told The Irish Times  at the weekend.

In a related development, Fr Tony Flannery of the Redemptorist order in Athenry, Co Galway, has criticised Archbishop Diarmuid Martin’s treatment of his Episcopal colleagues in the wake of publication of the Murphy report.

In his Christmas Day homily, Dr Drennan spoke of the “darkness of recent times”, including flooding, the recession, the stories of abuse in publication of the Ryan and Murphy reports, the “stories of greed” in the business world and “stories of excessive expense accounts” in the world of politics.

“I suppose we have rarely seen so much anger in Irish society as we have seen over the past couple of months”, he said, and the biggest challenge now was to “understand our past, to forgive mistakes, to learn from them”.

Following the Christmas Eve resignation of Dublin’s two auxiliary bishops, Dr Eamonn Walsh and Dr Raymond Field, Galway diocesan communications manager Fr Sean McHugh disputed reports that the sole remaining bishop was on the point of stepping down.

“Dr Drennan’s case was different to that of the other four bishops mentioned in the report, in that he wasn’t asked to appear before Judge Murphy’s commission,” Fr McHugh said.

“It is highly significant that Judge Murphy wrote to him at the outset of the commission’s work, but she never asked to speak to him after that when, by then, she would have had access to all the files in Dublin relating to allegations of child sexual abuse,“Fr McHugh said.

“Dr Drennan wasn’t called to give evidence, nor was he sent a draft of any section of the report as happened in the case of the other bishops,“Fr McHugh said. “In the one case which he was involved in, the Murphy report praises the way the Dublin diocese responded.”

Dr Drennan served as auxiliary bishop in Dublin from 1997 to 2005 He is mentioned in the report in connection with reports of inappropriate behaviour relating to Fr Guido, which involved male teenagers in 2002 and 2003 .

Dr Drennan said over a week ago that he was satisfied with the way he had handled abuse allegations, and resigning was not the answer.

Fr McHugh said that by 1997, when Dr Drennan was appointed in Dublin, child protection structures were already in place and specific management committees were dealing with cases and reporting directly to the archbishop.

“Dr Drennan is strong in his belief that there is nothing he failed to report, and the label of guilt by association is not something he is happy with,“Fr McHugh said.

Dr Drennan met over 60 priests in the Galway diocese on the Murphy report on December 17th, and it is understood that he was closely questioned. It is understood that he was asked by his priests to explain his position on radio.

In his interview with RTE on December 18th, Dr Drennan urged Archbishop Martin to drop his name from the list of people who potentially resign. He said a question had been put over his integrity by the archbishop He also said he had responded to a letter from Archbishop Martin asking for a verdict on the way things were handled.

“I feel we have been through a spiral of revenge. I understand that people are angry . . . but taking the route of revenge is not going to bring any closure,” he said, adding that he had received “huge” support in Galway.

Last weekend Galway West TD Frank Fahey said he should not resign, and some 93 per cent of callers to Galway Bay FM after his interview there expressed support for him.

Fr Tony Flannery of the Redemptorist order in Athenry, Co Galway, has criticised Archbishop Martin for failing to discuss the matters raised in the Murphy report with fellow bishops in advance of publication.

“These bishiops are not recalcitrant teenagers; they are intelligent and mature men, so it was pathetic of Diarmuid Martin to use the media to communicate with them,“Fr Flannery has said in The Connacht Tribune .

“It showed scant respect,“Fr Flannery has said. “Bishop Drennan was correct when he said that his integrity was questioned”.

Fr Flannery said that the “sad and tragic saga” of child abuse had hurt many people, and “real change” must come from the “community of believers” who were “no longer willing to accept that all authority in the (Catholic) church is exercised by an exclusive group of men handing down their diktats from afar”.

Fr Flannery is author of the recently published book, Responding to the Ryan Report , in which he argues that revelations about clergy involvement in various forms of abuse might provoke the Catholic church into reviewing its teaching on sexuality.

Church leadership should learn “to trust the believing community, and develop its teaching in partnership with them, rather than handing it down in an authoritarian manner”, he has said.

http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/breaking/2009/1227/breaking12.html

More related articles

06Apr A Response to the news about Tony Flannery – Association of 

Responding to the Ryan Report: Amazon.co.uk: Tony FrFlannery 

for silenced priest Fr Tony Flannery – Clerical Whispers

Rite and Reason and Reality. Tony Flannery C.S.S.R. Redemptorist 

St Philip’s, Mountview and Fr Tony Flannery

Joseph S. O’Leary homepage: The Ryan Report Revisited

‘It’s time for the Church’s outlook on sex to evolve’ – National News 

Redemptorist ‘glad’ Drennan did not resign due to report

Tony Flannery – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Vatican continue to silence ‘liberal’ Catholic priest Father Tony 

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Fr Tony Flannery ‘threatened with excommunication’

Fr Tony Flannery · TheJournal.ie

Newstalk – Vatican procedures are outdated says Fr Tony Flannery

Time to free church from clammy grip of clericalism – The Irish Times 

Priests’ group expresses concern over Vatican’s treatment of Fr Tony 

Hall of Fame (Father Tony Flannery C.S.S.R.)

Tony Flannery is threatened with excommunication. Association of 

Priests warn Vatican over move to censor Flannery | Irish Examiner

Fr Tony Flannery’s silencing by Vatican causes new damage to 

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Time to free church from clammy grip of clericalism – The Irish Times  

Priests’ group expresses concern over Vatican’s treatment of Fr Tony 

‘Huge support’ for silenced priest Fr Tony Flannery in Limerick 

Clerical Whispers

The ACP supports Tony Flannery. Association of Catholic Priests

The Church Is Wrong! Fr. Flannery, Like MLK, Is Right to Follow His Conscience http://huff.to/10Sx7Jd 

Fr Tony Flannery ‘threatened with excommunication’

BBC News – ‎1 hour ago‎
A Catholic priest has claimed he has been threatened with excommunication from the church because of his views on matters such as women’s ordination. Fr Tony Flannery, a high-profile Irish priest, is known for his liberal views on contraception and 

Cleric who supports women priests now facing expulsion

Irish Independent – ‎10 hours ago‎
Fr Tony Flannery, who also writes on religious matters, said he is being forced to choose between Rome and his conscience, and is taking legal advice under canon and civil law. The 66-year-old, who joined the Redemptorists in 1964, said he has been told 

Priest claims excommunication threat over views

RTE.ie – ‎3 hours ago‎
Father Tony Flannery has called on the Irish bishops to state publicly what they think about the disciplining of priests like himself. He blamed the breakdown of his year-long exchanges with the Church authorities on the intervention of Archbishop Gerhard 

Priests support Flannery over challenging views

Irish Times – ‎15 hours ago‎
PATSY McGARRY, Religious Affairs Correspondent. Ireland’s Redemptorists have said they are “deeply saddened at the breakdown in communication” between their colleague Fr Tony Flanneryand Rome’s Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (CDF).

Irish priest fears excommunication

Irish Times – ‎Jan 20, 2013‎
Fr Tony Flannery said he is being forced to choose between Rome and his conscience and revealed he is taking legal advice under canon and civil law to help defend his rights as a member of the church and as an Irish citizen. The 66-year-old, who joined 

Dissident Irish priest fears excommunication over views on women priests

IrishCentral – ‎2 hours ago‎
Outspoken Irish cleric Father Tony Flannery has admitted he faces excommunication from the church for backing the rights of women to become priests. The 66-year-old priest has told a Dublin press conference that he is considering legal action against the 

Vatican’s demand for silence is too high a price

Irish Times – ‎15 hours ago‎
Fr Tony Flannery. Three days after my 66th birthday I find myself forbidden to minister as a priest, with a threat of excommunication and dismissal from my congregation hanging over me. How did I find myself in this situation? I joined the Redemptorist 

Priest Is Planning to Defy the Vatican’s Orders to Stay Quiet

Pittsburgh Post Gazette – ‎16 hours ago‎
Tony Flannery, 66, who was suspended by the Vatican last year, said he was told by the Vatican that he would be allowed to return to ministry only if he agreed to write, sign and publish a statement agreeing, among other things, that women should never be ordained as priests  Michael Brehl, last year instructing him to remove Father Flannery from his ministry in County Galway, to ensure he did not publish any more articles in religious or other publications, and to tell him not to give interviews to the news media.

Irish Priest May Publicly Defy the Vatican About Advocating for Female Priests 

Jezebel – ‎21 hours ago‎
Tony Flannery, a 66-year-old Irish Catholic priest with no threshold for doctrinal bullshit, throw down a serious gauntlet against the Vatican when he defies orders from Vatican authorities not to speak out about his advocacy for a more open-minded Church.  His call for more openness from the Catholic Church has clashed with the Vatican’s seemingly conservative agenda under Pope Benedict XVI, who, unlike his predecessor, is apparently not content to just let Father Flannery do his forward-thinking thing over in 
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Update: 28/1/13